Momentum

I've been doing okay in the eating department lately. I usually don't meet my goal (2000 calories and 250 grams of carbohydrates, spread more or less evenly across 6 meals). But I get close.

One reason I haven't been meeting my goal is something I'm going to call "negative food momentum." Once I start eating, I have a really hard time stopping. This is especially true if I ate something unhealthy.

For example, I had nachos for lunch today. They aren't very food for me, but they were delicious. But then I had a tiny bit of sour cream and salsa left in my bowl, so I had a whole other half serving of tortilla chips. Then I fought desperately against the urge to eat something sweet, before giving in and getting this delicious cup of very sugary coffee:



I haven't had coffee in three weeks...I can't drink it without tons of sugar and whitener. Over and above that, caffeine can affect blood sugar, so I've been avoiding it.

The half-hour or so after I eat is a huge danger zone for me. Some of the ways I have of coping with it are
1) Lay down for 15-20 minutes
2) Go for a walk
3) Make sure to eat every three hours (it's more likely to happen if I've gone 4-5)

However, it's hard to resist the temptation, especially at night. I think if I can overcome the eating momentum at night, I'll start meeting my goal.

January 12th

...was fantastic!

I don't know what went wrong yesterday. Maybe I just had a bad day, and it had nothing to do with blood sugar. Maybe I was stressed, and stress affects blood sugar. Maybe it was the teeny, tiny bit of caffeine I had in a bit of chocolate I got in class (unlikely). No matter what it was, I felt stable and calm and happy all day today.

Breakfast
- 2 calcium chews
- 1 cup Corn Bran with 3/4 cup blueberries and 1 cup of soymilk (I only put about 1/2 cup in, and just drank the other half)

Snack
- Sandwich thin with pb and honey

Lunch
- Purity beef stew (this stuff is NOT good for you...but it was in my calorie and carb range, and I crave it sometimes)

Snack
- 1/4 cup granola, around 3/4 cup yogurt (2 containers), and 1/2 cup blueberries

Dinner
- Chicken wraps (2)

Snack
- More granola and yogurt and berries

It was a pretty perfect day food-wise. Calories: 1937, Carbs: 260

I was aiming for 200 grams of carbs per day, but I've read that 50% of your total calories should come from carbs. If I'm trying to eat around 2000 calories a day, then it should be 250. Ultimately, it's whatever makes me feel best. I felt fantastic with 260 today.

January 11th

...sucked.

For the last ten days, I've been in control of my moods, and relatively calm/happy (a 5 or above on a 1 to 10 scale). That's HUGE for me, because I have been experiencing severe mood swings every 2 to 5 days for a long while now. But yesterday just sucked.

Breakfast



- 1 cup Corn Bran, 1/2 cup plain yogurt, and 1/2 cup blueberries

Snack - 12ish almonds, 1 small square dark chocolate

Lunch




- 2 eggs in a tortilla, 1 cup salad with hummus and dressing

This is where it got bad. Even though I had just finished eating, I felt shaky, distracted, and totally unsatisfied. It was too early for the rest of the lunch I packed, so I ate my "emergency bar":



I didn't feel much better, until I took a 15 minute walk. Then I went to class and got some bad news, and even though it was bad news, I made it HORRIBLE news. My mood was just out of control. I felt shaky, frantic, angry, frustrated, depressed, anxious...in other words, everything I hadn't been for the last 10 days. I had my pb&j on a sandwich thin around 3:30, thinking it might be blood sugar related. Then I had 2 flatbreads with cheese at 4. Then more Corn Bran, yogurt and blueberries around 5:30. I felt bad and was trying my hardest to eat my way out of it. At that point, I had eaten nearly my entire calorie goal for the day.

Then I super binged. I ate 1200 calories and 300 g of carbs between 8 and 9, and fell into bed exhausted, and slept 10 hours.

I feel discouraged. I really wanted this diet to help me control my moods. I know that one bad day doesn't mean that it isn't working. But I want to know WHY, after 10 days, I would suddenly have an "off" day like that, even though I had been doing everything right.

One thing is for sure -- binging makes it a lot worse. I wasn't hungry for most of the day. But I felt a huge urge to eat, which I know was related to my crappy mood. I am conditioned to use eating to make myself feel better. But it really doesn't if I'm binging and letting my blood sugar go crazy. What I should have done was continue to eat sensibly, and do something else to work on my bad mood -- exercise would probably have been the best choice.

I'm not feeling great this morning, either...maybe I'll have a chance to try it out today.

January 10th

I took some pictures on my phone, which I can't share, because...where the hell is my usb cable?

Breakfast
- 2 packages of Reduced Sugar Peaches and Cream oatmeal
- 1 tbsp pb

Lunch
- Gigantic Cobb salad I bought at school

Snack
- 2 calcium chews
- 1 glass "less sugar" iced tea

Supper

I've been craving a veggie burger for a while, so I tried these:




Pretty damn good with ketchup, mustard, a bit of colby cheese, and a pickle.



I'm around 1600 calories right now. I'm going to try to stay under 2000 today (I was unsuccessful yesterday, due to a minor chocolate attack). It's only 5 pm though, so I don't know how well that's going to work. I am having a really hard time pacing myself when I eat every couple of hours.

Jan 9th

I won't be home tonight, but I'm packing food for the whole day, so I somewhat confidently list my eats for the day already!

When I woke up, I tried a different kind of tea from the tea box I got for Christmas:



Packed food:



2 pb + j sandwiches on sandwich thins (one of which I am eating right now, because I forgot to factor breakfast into things...doh)
1 tuna salad sandwich on sandwich thin, with 2 pickles
2 hardboiled eggs, and cheese, with 11 Wheat Thins (in crumbly end-of-box form)
2 medium carrots with 2 tbsp hummus

1805 calories, 137 grams of carbs

(I've started counting calories, not because it's really a main focus or that I'm trying to lose weight, but because I want to get an idea of whether I'm eating too little or too much)

It's low on carbs...I think I should be eating closer to 200 g. So I have this secret weapon, just in case I get hungry:



It's kind of a junk bar, but it's got the right amount of carbs/protein/calories, and it'll help if it needs to.

Weekend, Jan 7-8th

I was gone all weekend and didn't have much control over what I ate, but I did my best, given the circumstances.

Saturday:
Breakfast - 1.5ish cups of plain oatmeal with 1 or 2 teaspoons of brown sugar
Snack - 1 slice of whole wheat bread with 1 tbsp Nutella (avoiding Nutella from now on...not anywhere near as healthy as it advertises itself)
Lunch - A Lean Cuisine frozen dinner...can't remember which one, but it had around 30 g of carbs
- 1 cup Silhouette strawberry yogurt
Snacks - 2 nut bars, can't remember which ones, too lazy to check
Supper - 2 cups chicken fried rice
Snacks - 11 Wheat Thins with 2-3 tbsp pb
- 1 piece of pizza

Sunday:
Breakfast - 22 Wheat Thins with 3 tbsp pb
Supper (breakfast was at 12) - a sausage mcmuffin made with a whole wheat sandwich thin, colby cheese, 1 egg, and a sausage round
- 2 small apples with 4 tbsp pb (Kraft natural, less carbs, I mixed some cinnamon in with it and it was delicious)
Snack - soymilk peppermint chai

It wasn't a great weekend food-wise. I ate too much on Saturday and too little today. I felt really lethargic all day today too, possibly because of Saturday's eats. All in all, it wasn't horrible, though.

January 6th

I have been snacking crazily all day. I just can't seem to get enough.

Breakfast: 2 packets of Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal (meh...I was at Mitch`s house, and had to make do)

Lunch:



Deeeelicious wraps made with salad, hummus, mushrooms, and hungarian salami.

Snacks:

10 almonds to get me through until lunch.

About a thousand slices of this:



It`s a problem

Also, I had 2 apples with maybe 4 tbsp of peanut butter (finished off the jar) immediately after lunch.

Also, I am currently sipping my way through this:



I just did a really rough tally, and I`ve had about 1000 calories worth of snacks today...and it`s barely 4 pm. I still have supper and one more snack to devour, probably.

As is probably obvious, I`m struggling with how to get enough calories without carbs. Hungarian salami is not the solution, but I have noticed that it`s hard to lower carbs without lowering calories. I really don`t want to add a huge amount of unhealthy fat and protein, but I need to add enough to feel full. I could also be incorporating a lot more vegetables, which might help me feel less like I`m either starving or gorging.