Momentum

I've been doing okay in the eating department lately. I usually don't meet my goal (2000 calories and 250 grams of carbohydrates, spread more or less evenly across 6 meals). But I get close.

One reason I haven't been meeting my goal is something I'm going to call "negative food momentum." Once I start eating, I have a really hard time stopping. This is especially true if I ate something unhealthy.

For example, I had nachos for lunch today. They aren't very food for me, but they were delicious. But then I had a tiny bit of sour cream and salsa left in my bowl, so I had a whole other half serving of tortilla chips. Then I fought desperately against the urge to eat something sweet, before giving in and getting this delicious cup of very sugary coffee:



I haven't had coffee in three weeks...I can't drink it without tons of sugar and whitener. Over and above that, caffeine can affect blood sugar, so I've been avoiding it.

The half-hour or so after I eat is a huge danger zone for me. Some of the ways I have of coping with it are
1) Lay down for 15-20 minutes
2) Go for a walk
3) Make sure to eat every three hours (it's more likely to happen if I've gone 4-5)

However, it's hard to resist the temptation, especially at night. I think if I can overcome the eating momentum at night, I'll start meeting my goal.

January 12th

...was fantastic!

I don't know what went wrong yesterday. Maybe I just had a bad day, and it had nothing to do with blood sugar. Maybe I was stressed, and stress affects blood sugar. Maybe it was the teeny, tiny bit of caffeine I had in a bit of chocolate I got in class (unlikely). No matter what it was, I felt stable and calm and happy all day today.

Breakfast
- 2 calcium chews
- 1 cup Corn Bran with 3/4 cup blueberries and 1 cup of soymilk (I only put about 1/2 cup in, and just drank the other half)

Snack
- Sandwich thin with pb and honey

Lunch
- Purity beef stew (this stuff is NOT good for you...but it was in my calorie and carb range, and I crave it sometimes)

Snack
- 1/4 cup granola, around 3/4 cup yogurt (2 containers), and 1/2 cup blueberries

Dinner
- Chicken wraps (2)

Snack
- More granola and yogurt and berries

It was a pretty perfect day food-wise. Calories: 1937, Carbs: 260

I was aiming for 200 grams of carbs per day, but I've read that 50% of your total calories should come from carbs. If I'm trying to eat around 2000 calories a day, then it should be 250. Ultimately, it's whatever makes me feel best. I felt fantastic with 260 today.

January 11th

...sucked.

For the last ten days, I've been in control of my moods, and relatively calm/happy (a 5 or above on a 1 to 10 scale). That's HUGE for me, because I have been experiencing severe mood swings every 2 to 5 days for a long while now. But yesterday just sucked.

Breakfast



- 1 cup Corn Bran, 1/2 cup plain yogurt, and 1/2 cup blueberries

Snack - 12ish almonds, 1 small square dark chocolate

Lunch




- 2 eggs in a tortilla, 1 cup salad with hummus and dressing

This is where it got bad. Even though I had just finished eating, I felt shaky, distracted, and totally unsatisfied. It was too early for the rest of the lunch I packed, so I ate my "emergency bar":



I didn't feel much better, until I took a 15 minute walk. Then I went to class and got some bad news, and even though it was bad news, I made it HORRIBLE news. My mood was just out of control. I felt shaky, frantic, angry, frustrated, depressed, anxious...in other words, everything I hadn't been for the last 10 days. I had my pb&j on a sandwich thin around 3:30, thinking it might be blood sugar related. Then I had 2 flatbreads with cheese at 4. Then more Corn Bran, yogurt and blueberries around 5:30. I felt bad and was trying my hardest to eat my way out of it. At that point, I had eaten nearly my entire calorie goal for the day.

Then I super binged. I ate 1200 calories and 300 g of carbs between 8 and 9, and fell into bed exhausted, and slept 10 hours.

I feel discouraged. I really wanted this diet to help me control my moods. I know that one bad day doesn't mean that it isn't working. But I want to know WHY, after 10 days, I would suddenly have an "off" day like that, even though I had been doing everything right.

One thing is for sure -- binging makes it a lot worse. I wasn't hungry for most of the day. But I felt a huge urge to eat, which I know was related to my crappy mood. I am conditioned to use eating to make myself feel better. But it really doesn't if I'm binging and letting my blood sugar go crazy. What I should have done was continue to eat sensibly, and do something else to work on my bad mood -- exercise would probably have been the best choice.

I'm not feeling great this morning, either...maybe I'll have a chance to try it out today.

January 10th

I took some pictures on my phone, which I can't share, because...where the hell is my usb cable?

Breakfast
- 2 packages of Reduced Sugar Peaches and Cream oatmeal
- 1 tbsp pb

Lunch
- Gigantic Cobb salad I bought at school

Snack
- 2 calcium chews
- 1 glass "less sugar" iced tea

Supper

I've been craving a veggie burger for a while, so I tried these:




Pretty damn good with ketchup, mustard, a bit of colby cheese, and a pickle.



I'm around 1600 calories right now. I'm going to try to stay under 2000 today (I was unsuccessful yesterday, due to a minor chocolate attack). It's only 5 pm though, so I don't know how well that's going to work. I am having a really hard time pacing myself when I eat every couple of hours.

Jan 9th

I won't be home tonight, but I'm packing food for the whole day, so I somewhat confidently list my eats for the day already!

When I woke up, I tried a different kind of tea from the tea box I got for Christmas:



Packed food:



2 pb + j sandwiches on sandwich thins (one of which I am eating right now, because I forgot to factor breakfast into things...doh)
1 tuna salad sandwich on sandwich thin, with 2 pickles
2 hardboiled eggs, and cheese, with 11 Wheat Thins (in crumbly end-of-box form)
2 medium carrots with 2 tbsp hummus

1805 calories, 137 grams of carbs

(I've started counting calories, not because it's really a main focus or that I'm trying to lose weight, but because I want to get an idea of whether I'm eating too little or too much)

It's low on carbs...I think I should be eating closer to 200 g. So I have this secret weapon, just in case I get hungry:



It's kind of a junk bar, but it's got the right amount of carbs/protein/calories, and it'll help if it needs to.

Weekend, Jan 7-8th

I was gone all weekend and didn't have much control over what I ate, but I did my best, given the circumstances.

Saturday:
Breakfast - 1.5ish cups of plain oatmeal with 1 or 2 teaspoons of brown sugar
Snack - 1 slice of whole wheat bread with 1 tbsp Nutella (avoiding Nutella from now on...not anywhere near as healthy as it advertises itself)
Lunch - A Lean Cuisine frozen dinner...can't remember which one, but it had around 30 g of carbs
- 1 cup Silhouette strawberry yogurt
Snacks - 2 nut bars, can't remember which ones, too lazy to check
Supper - 2 cups chicken fried rice
Snacks - 11 Wheat Thins with 2-3 tbsp pb
- 1 piece of pizza

Sunday:
Breakfast - 22 Wheat Thins with 3 tbsp pb
Supper (breakfast was at 12) - a sausage mcmuffin made with a whole wheat sandwich thin, colby cheese, 1 egg, and a sausage round
- 2 small apples with 4 tbsp pb (Kraft natural, less carbs, I mixed some cinnamon in with it and it was delicious)
Snack - soymilk peppermint chai

It wasn't a great weekend food-wise. I ate too much on Saturday and too little today. I felt really lethargic all day today too, possibly because of Saturday's eats. All in all, it wasn't horrible, though.

January 6th

I have been snacking crazily all day. I just can't seem to get enough.

Breakfast: 2 packets of Maple and Brown Sugar Oatmeal (meh...I was at Mitch`s house, and had to make do)

Lunch:



Deeeelicious wraps made with salad, hummus, mushrooms, and hungarian salami.

Snacks:

10 almonds to get me through until lunch.

About a thousand slices of this:



It`s a problem

Also, I had 2 apples with maybe 4 tbsp of peanut butter (finished off the jar) immediately after lunch.

Also, I am currently sipping my way through this:



I just did a really rough tally, and I`ve had about 1000 calories worth of snacks today...and it`s barely 4 pm. I still have supper and one more snack to devour, probably.

As is probably obvious, I`m struggling with how to get enough calories without carbs. Hungarian salami is not the solution, but I have noticed that it`s hard to lower carbs without lowering calories. I really don`t want to add a huge amount of unhealthy fat and protein, but I need to add enough to feel full. I could also be incorporating a lot more vegetables, which might help me feel less like I`m either starving or gorging.

January 5th

Breakfast:



1/3 cup oatmeal (2/3 cooked) with 1 cup soymilk and the rest of my strawberries (about 2/3 cup)

Snack: one of my new nut bars, the middle one in the picture from the last post. I got it at Bulk Barn, and I belive it was 1.99 or thereabouts. It was like biting into a brick, but once I gnawed a corner off, it wasn't bad.

Lunch:



Tuna melts made with one can of tuna, some mustard instead of mayo, and a bit of colby cheese on top of some multigrain crispbreads. I got the idea from The Best Life Guide to Managing Diabetes. About 2 cups of salad with calorie-wise Italian and some mushrooms thrown in alongside those delicious melts.

Snacks:

2 apples with 3 tbsp pb.



I heated some Silk light soymilk in the microwave and steeped this teabag in it...it was so good!!

22 multigrain Wheat Thins (2 servings) with some colby cheese and hungarian salami

...Did I have supper? Really, I didn't? That might explain why I've been so hungry...

EDIT: I had 15-2 cups of salad with cheese and blue cheese dressing an hour or two after that.

January 4th

For breakfast, I had 1/2 cup greek yogurt, 1/2 cup strawberries, 1 tbsp honey, and 1 piece of toast with peanut butter.

I was on campus today, so I packed a lunch: a fried tofu sandwich, 2 mini-apples with 2 tbsp peanut butter, and a little bag of almonds. I ate one of the apples and half the pb around 10, then devoured the sandwich around 11:30. I was starving after my 1:30-2:45 class, and ate 17 almonds to tide me over, then the other apple and the rest of the pb when I got home around 4.

Supper was delicious but gross looking: defrosted sweet potato and lentil soup, with 2 pieces of bread. I had 2 Midgies as a treat right afterward.

Looking at my eats for the last couple of days, I have been pretty bread-heavy. I'm not really sure what else to do, though. I looked at the carbohydrate content of various pastas at Bulk Barn today, and they're all prohibitively high. I'll look into rice. Once I'm done this loaf of bread, I'll probably buy some pitas or tortillas and go nuts with those for a while, too.

Not related to carbohydrates in any way, but look how healthy I'm being:



Eating like a diabetic AND taking my vitamins? Total overachiever right now. That is some omega 3, a multivitamin, and calcium (not in delicious swiss chocolate form, because I had the Midgies and therefore used up my treat for the day).

I also bought these, which I am excited about trying:



They're all relatively low in carbs (the highest one is the middle with 21 g), and relatively high in protein (between 4-15.5 g). They're not perfect-- I just discovered the KIND bar has glucose AND honey in it, boo -- but they'll be a nice change.

I'm a little worried about getting bored and burning out on the food I've been eating. I have been eating a shitload of nuts and peanut butter. Is that bad for you? Am I in danger of developing a sensitivity to nuts if I eat them constantly? Dunno.

Cheating

I've been cheating with these:



I just "forgot" to factor them into my carb counts for the last couple of days,
because they're a vitamin, right? Well, they have 3.9 g of carbs each, and I eat two of them a day. Bummer. Obviously, I'm not going to stop (unless I start consuming more calcium), but I'll have to consider them as a treat from now on.

January 3rd

I had 1 cup of Life, 1 cup of Silk light original soymilk, and 1/2 cup strawberries for breakfast.

Then this for lunch:



2 cups of mixed salad with 2 tbsp hummus, 1/3 cup chicken pieces, a drizzle of Kraft Calorie-wise Italian dressing, and 2 pieces of multigrain bread.

About 3 hours later I had this snack:




Two tiny apples with 3 tbsp of peanut butter.

For supper, I had a very unphotogenic and soggy fried tofu sandwich, but it hit the spot anyway. I'll probably end up having another apple+pb combo tonight, or some yogurt and strawberries. I think I feel hungry already. In fact, I've felt kind of empty all day. Not to the point where I'm miserable though.

January 2nd

Eats today:

- 1 cup Life cereal with 1/2 greek yogurt and 1/2 cup strawberries
- 1 carrot, 1/2 cup or so sliced mushrooms, and 2 tbsp hummus
- 1.5 cups mole chili with 3 tbsp greek yogurt and 12 whole wheat soda crackers
- 1/2 large chicken breast, 1.5 cups mixed salad, 2 tbsp Kraft fat free Italian dressing, and 1 cup soymilk
- 2 Midgies

I felt pretty level today, moodwise. It's one of my "dark" days, but I was able to stay in control of my despair, with the help of a couple of walks. I didn't feel any sharp drops in mood which result in strong feelings of anxiety, frustration, etc. It's very possible that those things are related to blood sugar, so maybe that's why I avoided it today.

The only problem is that I felt a little too full. I just really roughly calculated my calories for the day and they are at 2000 or a little over, which might explain it. I walked for maybe 1.5 hours today, but just sat around the rest of the time -- my activity level doesn't really justify a 2000+ calorie diet. Around 1700 would probably be more like it. I won't be uncomfortably stuffed, but I'll still be eating enough protein and fat to keep my blood sugar level throughout the day.

January 1st

Today I ate:

- Unsweetened oatmeal with cinnamon (1/2 cup uncooked)
- About 1-1.5 cups of toasted pumpkin seeds
- About 1.5 cups of reheated mole chili and 12 whole wheat soda crackers
- 1/2 cup greek yogurt with 1/3 cup strawberries and 1 tbsp honey (this was delicious...but honey is 17 g of carbs per tbsp. Ridiculous!)

I don't really know what I'm doing yet. I tried to eat about 2-3 servings of carbohydrates per meal, or about 30-45 grams.

I plan on very roughly following the plan in this book:



However, I moved yesterday, and none of my dishes or cookbooks are unpacked, plus I have no food and all the stores are closed today. Luckily, the shock and novelty of uprooting and being surrounded by chaos is distracting me nicely from any carbohydrate cravings I might have been having otherwise.

I suspect I'm going to have to add a LOT more vegetables to my diet (more than 0, that is) in order to make up for the reduction in carbs. Otherwise, I'll never be full.